Hello, January 2011

It's the time of the year I feel new. Every thing has been reseted, start a new.

I've decided that it is time to get back to writing again this year. Apart from a lot of things that is happening in my life right now (which I will fill you in later), the reality is that the will to write and time to allow myself to explore my imagination is now unfortunately rare.

This reality hit me like an eighteen-wheeler when I was given a task to do a simple write-up of my church's Christmas carnival. The dateline was 12th January and I struggled through the writing process until the 9th January. Even that I had my pastor to check what I've written and I am embarrassed at the silly mistakes I made in the article.

As I wondered, I was not able to recall the last time I actually pen my thoughts. And since this blog has been accumulating dust, guess it's a good time to start.

Tonight is one of those rare nights where I get inspired by listening to Josh Groban and reading some thought provoking quotes by C.S Lewis, Elisabeth Elliot and John Piper. Again, I don't remember the last time I had so much of inspiration to express in writing and in speech.

However, since this is my first post in the year of 2011, I will fill you in on what's been happening in my life.

I got a new job. (Yay!)

I am not sure how many of you know, the reason for the birth of this blog was a result of a careless practice on freedom of speech. It was foolish and it had cost me my previous job as a kindergarten teacher. Sure, I have hated the management there, but it was foolish of me not to practice self-control and let it spill all over the world wide web for everyone to see.

Anyway.

For some time I was afraid of going back to work. The job in the kindergarten was just a glimpse of corporate and I hated it. Hence, I've been battling with myself to find something that is not corporate and having this very idealistic, if not, unrealistic idea of doing things I totally love doing, like ministry, or photography. I thought it is time. I still believe there is a place for that to happen perhaps later in my life, but then, God has other plans.

As I wait for the right time and the right door to open, I was working in church as a casual worker with very minimal pay. And God is good by giving my leaders like my both my pastors to knock some sense into my head when I needed it. There were things in my own life that I need to sort out, some attitudes and character flaws that needed correction and my pastors have very tactfully yet firmly conveyed them to me.

So August last year I have decided to send my resumes out, hoping to get interviews for jobs. It was a scary a ride as the thought of going corporate still scares me. Committing the job interviews to God, for Him to help me know which job to take on, I went for a few here and there and simply to cut the long story short, I got a job with a local stock photography company. Though the job description for me has very little to do with being creatively involved, instead, it is more on the selling aspect.

I took the job as the job came at the right time and I acknowledged that as a proof of God's faithfulness in providence. I admit, there were days I dread going to work because of the nature of the job, which is actually cold calling. I persevered simply because this is God's will for me to have this job.

Somehow, in the days where I dread going to work yet I completed my quota day by day, without any complains to my superior. God's favour was all over me, I have also gain favour among my superiors. To cut the long story short again, God has enabled me to skip two steps up in position and was given a good increment in just 4 months in the job.

I couldn't have done it if it's not for God.

This has been such a good start to the new year, to which I look forward with God's loving guidance and that I would not allow anymore fear to hold me back from taking that step of faith. A friend once taught me to ask myself this question before taking that step of faith- "What is there to lose, anyway?" Come to think of it, what is there to lose, anyway? What could be the worst thing that could happen? For us as Christians, we are assured of God's leading and that ALL things work out for the good for those who love Him. So what if it's not the right way? The Bible says to trust in Him and lean not on our own understanding and He will make our paths straight. It is better than staying stagnant, paralyzed by fear and not even making that step at all.

I hope you, whoever you are reading this will have a great year ahead. :)

Remembering Nepal

"...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people."
- Mark Twain

Nepal. The mention of this country makes some people think of the majestic Himalayan mountain range, some of Buddhism pilgrimages and the origin of a big group of migrant workers in Malaysia. No matter how much you can presume Nepal to be, you have to experience Nepal for yourself, especially to see and know God's heart for this beautiful country.

This week last year I was in Nepal for a mission trip. An experience I can never forget- I could almost remember what happened in bits from the day I left home to the day I got home.

The trip was very special because it was my first time boarding a plane.


My first flight ticket.

I remember not being able to sleep before the night before flying, though I forced myself to. Exited to go on the plane, exited to see what Nepal like and excited to see God at work in that nation!


Took this shot while on air. It was early in the morning at about 7:30am and the moon is still visible.

The moment we touched down, I remembered having all my five senses engaged all at once. The air felt cool on my skin, the air smelled different, the buildings looked significantly different as well as the language that I hear every one is speaking- completely foreign.






One of the first ministries the team get to do was some children's ministry at a ladies conference.

The women, young and old worshiped God with much enthusiasm and zeal through the expression of dancing and singing. With hands lifted high, undignified. Something I find very lacking in our churches in urban Malaysia. Sometimes we're so conscious about what others might think about us if we worship with such passion and losing ourselves completely in the Lord. Face problem still remains as a huge issue, unfortunately. But seeing these women, I was really blessed. I wanna be like them.

There was also the slum school ministry. Yes.

Watching Slumdog Millionaire is one thing, experiencing one is another. The team had a real taste of it when we were lead in by local leaders into the slum villages inhabited by migrants from India, hoping to find a living through child labour and by collecting recyclable materials to sell.

And the children, ever so eager to learn, participate and make a connection with us.


Despite their tough living environments, they are happy.

After, there was also ministry at a Bible school. Where students are learning deeper into the word of God, in training to be pastor and church leaders.

Earnestly seeking the Lord.

Lastly, we went on a short holiday.

The place we had our holiday gave us the chance to enjoy the absolutely stunning, breath-taking view of the mountains and lush landscapes.


We caught the sunrise at 7200ft above sea level. Just amazing!





It's amazing when we witness these amazing creations of God, it often makes us feel insignificant. Becuase truly God is really great and we're absolutely nothing! Yet, His love for us is higher than than tallest mountain, deeper then the the deepest sea.

As I remember this week last year I was in Nepal, I will take this week to remember God's work in the nation of Nepal. God bless Nepal.

Passion 2010

In 2008 when Passion World Tour came to Malaysia they promoted Passion 2010. Having been really blessed while the team was in Malaysia, I really wanted to go for Passion 2010. The only problem is- Passion 2010 was going to be held in Atlanta, Georgia.

Obviously I was not able to go. Considering the costs and trouble might leave me filling for bankruptcy by the end of it, y'know. But with the wonders of the Internet, I found the sermons at Passion 2010 uploaded on Vimeo!

So here are some I wanna share with you. They have touched my heart and brought be a new awakening. Hope it does the same to you.

Louie Giglio - Main Session 1 - Passion 2010 from Jacob Marlowe on Vimeo.

Beth Moore - Passion 2010 Main Session Talk from Jacob Marlowe on Vimeo.

Andy Stanley - Passion 2010 Main Session Talk- It is Always a Mistake To Decide What You Do Before You Decide Who You Want To Be from Jacob Marlowe on Vimeo.

John Piper - Passion 2010 Main Session Talk - "Is Jesus An Egomaniac?" from Jacob Marlowe on Vimeo.

Louie Giglio - Main Session Talk 2 - Passion 2010 from Jacob Marlowe on Vimeo.

Francis Chan Talk - Passion 2010 from Jacob Marlowe on Vimeo.

Special thanks to Jacob Marlowe for sharing the videos!

If I Could Change One Thing in My Past...

Have you ever come across that question?

I gave it a good thought tonight, as I am not able to sleep and the time is 3am. Quiet nights give me a clear head, sometimes.

Is there anything to change? Let's examine my past first.

One of the most significant events in the past happened in Form 4 and 5. The things that happened in that 2 years have really altered a lot of things today.

I was going through a weird time, stuck between being a teenager and wanting to have freedom like an adult would have. Having to face up with the SPM exams while teachers are working very hard to prepare the students, I appeared to be least interested in a class filled with elite students. Always failing my papers and getting myself into a lot of trouble with my parents.

The kind of trouble I was in doesn't just involve my studies. I was at a all-time-low spiritually with God. Got into situations that compromised moral standards and Godly values, I was in the gutter, quite literally.

But God was faithful. He still is. It was that time I cried out to Him. Like, literally CRIED. And He was faithful and gracious. I know He was the only who can save me.

The things that I've gone through that time shaped me to be who I am today, positively. I used to think and say that I stopped "growing up" since 16. Now looking back as a 22-year-old, I was wrong. He made me go through it for a reason, and coming out of it victorious sure marks a milestone and a story to tell of His goodness and faithfulness.

If He hadn't allow all that, I will have NOTHING to glorify God with.

Back to that question- "If you could change one thing in your past, what would it be?"

I'd say confidently,full of conviction. "Nothing."

Send Me, I Will Go.

...but, WHERE??

Australia?
Cambodia?
CELTA?
TESOL?

...go back to the working world!? (Eeek!!)

Waiting for Him and His White Horse to Come Around

(Not an entirely original title, but I like! LOL)

I was on Facebook this lovely and cool Monday night when I saw an update from my secondary school classmate.

It was a photo album of her pre-wedding photos.

So I clicked on it and saw beautiful photos of her in her beautiful wedding gown and her groom. In various locations, poses. Beautiful and elegant. She looked happy and as beautiful as an angel.

Looking at the photos I can't help but sighed. My friend is a year older then me (she was in remove class). That makes her 24 this year and she's getting married.

Me? I'm still waiting, waiting, waiting....

If I tell you that I'm not afraid of living my life alone and not getting married, I would be lying. There is no need to elaborate, the reasons are obvious- I love companionship. Someone to share life together.

As much as I would love to have that kind of companionship, I'm not going out on random dates and giving my number out to any Tom, Dick and Harry. My friends think I should go actively search for 'him' and hunt 'him' down instead of sitting around and mind my own business.

But I want to believe in God's timing. For him to bring the right person, at the right time. I remember a very interesting analogy of God's timing. It's like a father would not give his 6 month old baby a complicated toy because the child doesn't know to how play with it. Worse, it may pose as a choking hazard to the infant!

Put that in my situation, I'd like to believe that God will only make it happen when I am ready. Like a child too young to handle a complicated toy, He's probably waiting for the time when I'm old enough to fully appreciate the toy. So I guess as I wait for the right timing, I should just continue to concentrate to grow in Him and commit this desire to Him.

So I'll continue waiting. Trusting in God's timing. ;)

I just kinda hope that it'll be sooner la. Cepat sikit, boleh tak? Hehe.

Happy Birthday, Jesus

I may never understand why people set Your birthday on the 25th Dec knowing it's not correct, but I just want to dedicate today's post to You, Jesus. This day is all about You.

It must be hard for You to leave from Your throne in Heaven to come down to become us. Worse still, You have to live among us with all the sinfulness and even dying for us. But You did it so I could now talk to You freely.

Thank You for all that You've done. Thank You for putting up with my nonsense and heartache I caused you. You are the God of the universe, the earth is You footstool, but You love me enough to hear me when I pray and be there for me all the time.

Oh God, I love You. Don't give up on me just yet.


The sun cannot compare to the glory of Your love
There is no shadow in Your Presence
No mortal man would dare to stand before Your throne
Before the Holy One of heaven
It's only by Your Blood and it's only through Your mercy
Lord I come

I bring an offering of worship to my King
No one on earth deserves the praises that I sing
Jesus may You receive the honor that You're due
O Lord I bring an offering to You
I bring an offering to You